Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

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It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s still here.

If Donald Trump is so evil and Joe Biden is so good why is Trump the one selflessly providing Bibles for the needy while Biden doesn't? Why doesn't Biden care for America's spiritually needy people as much as Trump?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Do you agree with Kamala Harris that Donald Trump is dangerous?

I was tired of trying and failing.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Be who you already are.

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And the sadness?

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why was the rock band Kiss so successful?

I was tired of fighting.

The sadness was still there.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

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What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Isn't it ironic people always talk about how much women hate Donald Trump, when almost any of them would marry him if they could? What he said in the 2005 Billy Bush video, almost every woman would share the sentiment if it got them his lifestyle.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.