Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Do you believe that the portrayal of smoking in films and music videos contributes to the glamorization of cigarettes in society?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have a reading level above third grade

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What would TERFs do if there weren't such a thing as being transgender? Who would be their target?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What is the irony of life according to you?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What bait should you use for ocean fishing?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

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I see through liars

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why am I not getting any atheists to debate with? Are they scared?

I can count

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

How does a man look at you when he is in love?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How do you feel about the impending end of what Donald Trump calls "the Green New scam"?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms